passion

Notice to my readers...

2007-08-31T16:27:47Z

Because LJ is being stupid, you'll only be able to find my next chapters on this journal. So if you friend me, you'll know when a new chapter is posted. The next should be Saturday, but as I'm feeling a little sick today, it may be Sunday.

Secondly, you can also find me on FF.net, under the same name as here, and so I bid you all goodday.

Lost Memory: Prologue [Remus/Severus - R]

2007-08-31T02:38:44Z

Title: Lost Memory
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: R (for later chapters)
Pairing(s): One-sided Remus/Lily, one-sided Severus/Lily, Remus/Severus.
Warning(s): Chan(ages ranging from 11-17), Slash/Yaoi
Summery: Harry knew that Severus had loved his mother. He did not know that someone else had as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Remus, Severus, Harry, Hogwarts, or any other character or place within the confines of the Harry Potter series. The genius belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Critique/Author's Notes: Please. I can already tell that this fanfic will be one of my absolute favorites to write. I hope you will enjoy it on it's long journey ahead (and yes, it will be long), which is always a bonus for the reader.I also still need a beta.

Lost Memory
Prologue

Harry groaned as he reached into a large trunk full of schoolbooks, torn bits of parchment, broken quills and just about anything else you could imagine. He couldn’t help but grin as his hand gripped what looked like dead air but to Harry was his old invisibility cloak.

Chuckling, Harry could only shake his head. James was so like his father and his grandfather that it was near humorous rather than uncanny. Harry recalled that he hadn’t really cleaned out his trunk until what was supposed to be his seventh year at Hogwarts. In light of this, he made it a point to help his sons clean out their trunks. Besides, if he didn’t, his wife- their mother- would definitely have something to say about it. James, who had said he was going to the loo, still hadn’t returned after ten minutes. Harry decided it was safe to say that his eldest son had either fallen in or was not planning on returning anytime soon. He didn’t envy the boy when Ginny found out he’d left his father doing all the work. Not that Harry minded. No, he didn’t mind at all. It served him as his ticket into nostalgia, brought back to the days when he, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny roamed the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

He grinned as his hand gripped the map that was also passed down from father to son, the map that would show every room in the castle and every person that resided in those rooms. The Marauders’ Map. The map designed by Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs- or as he knew them, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James- his father- the original Marauders. He couldn’t help but frown at the thought of Wormtail. All of them… all of his friends were dead because he’d betrayed him. He then kicked himself mentally. The past was in the past and James, Remus, and Sirius still lived on through them. Through those who had loved them. It didn’t do well to dwell on the past, as Harry had learned first hand several times over. It was as Dumbledore had once said.

You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble?*

Harry smiled, picking up his wand that lay near the trunk and pressing his wand to it, said the words he hadn’t spoken in quite some time. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” He watched as the lines spread out like vines on a house and before long he was looking down at the map, reminiscing. Shaking his head, he pressed his wand to it once more and muttered Mischief managed before setting it aside with his wand, emmiting a soft chuckle. “It’s true,” he said. “He is my son.”
His smile faded though the next moment as he looked into the trunk. In the far-left corner something glinted.

Glass.

Reaching in, Harry gripped the object and brought it towards him, letting it sit in the palm of his hand as he inspected it. The object was a tiny glass tube, the kind that Muggle scientists often used to hold the substances they used, that held a dropper full of silvery blue liquid. He hardly moved as he just stared at the liquid. There were maybe a few droppers worth of substance, and Harry knew exactly what it was.

Memories…

But whose? And why in Merlin’s name did James have it. His eyes scanned the corner he’d taken the tube from and sure enough they fell upon a tiny bit of parchment. Slowly, as if the parchment would surely burn him, he picked it up with his other hand. Bringing it close to his face, his eyes skimmed what was a note written in a hasty scrawl that looked familiar. Glancing down at the bottom of the note he nearly dropped the tube.

Remus.

With renewed curiosity, he read the note, word for word.

Harry,
I cannot say much here, as I do not have a lot of time. I have a feeling that I will not live to tell you these things. Besides, they are very hard to say, and I wouldn’t know how to begin and so I leave it to these memories to tell you. I hope that you won’t think any less of me, as I care about you so much, and I am indebted to you for making me see the errors of my ways. Dora and Teddy mean the world to me, and you made me see that. If anything happens to me as I fear it will, I want you to help Dora’s mother raise my son. I do hope that what you see will help you understand me just a little more. I am entrusting this to Neville, although I am not certain he is the right person for the job, but he is my only choice. I love you, and let your instincts guide you.
Remus

Harry blinked, looking from the note to the tube and then back again. Lupin had wanted him to have these memories? They were to make Harry understand his old professor more? This note had been written twenty years a go, and Neville worked at Hogwarts. Surely he hadn’t forgotten the tube and note for twenty years? Of course, this was Neville, and things always seemed to slip his mind. But something as important as this, surely he would have remembered. He had two of his sons as his students, surely he could have given it to one of them the moment he remembered.

James had to have placed it in his trunk several years ago, probably back in his first year and completely forgot about it. He groaned before looking at the tube. He wasn’t sure he wanted to watch the memories. Surely they would just bring up old tears. Regarding the liquid, he then closed his hand around the tube. It would be an insult to Remus’s memory if he didn’t watch the select memories that his old friend had deemed important for Harry to see.

With a nod to no one in particular, he decided that taking a little break couldn’t hurt. Grabbing his wand, which he’d discarded on the floor next to him, Harry stood up. The note and glass tube secure in his hand, Harry left James’s room and made his way to his study, locking the door behind him.

Somehow he knew that these memories were for him alone.

----
* Quote, Albus Dumbledore. PoA, Chapter 22, page 427 (paperback version).

Notice: Friends Only Now Withdrawn

2007-08-29T12:34:32Z

Since there were so many problems having my fanfiction Friends Only, I rebuked my decision and all fanfictions will now be viewable to everyone.

Thank you.

Oneshot: Mere Frustration [Remus/Severus - NC-17]

2007-08-28T00:34:14Z

Title: Mere Frustration
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Remus/Severus
Warning(s): Chan(characters are 14), Rimming, Slash/Yaoi
Summery: Severus knows Remus's secret. Remus confronts him about not telling. Frustrations occur, and the two soon find themselves in a situation they never expected to be in... at least not with one another.
Disclaimer: I do not own Remus, Severus, Hogwarts, or any other character or place within the confines of the Harry Potter series. The genius belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Critique/Author's Notes:Please. And this is by far not my first fanfiction, but it is my first time on LJ and so this is my LJ Fanfiction-virgin piece. I do hope you enjoy. ^.~ Oh, and if anyone would like to or knows someone who would like to be my adopted beta, I'd very much appreciate it. Just drop me a comment. Thank you.

Mere Frustration

“Get away from me, werewolf!”

I watched as Snape’s hands tightened around his wand, which was currently pointed at my chest. With a sigh, I raised my hands in defeat before dropping them impatiently to my side.

“Severus,” I said, trying desperately to keep my anger from rising. I don’t know why I expected Snape of all people to actually listen like a rational human being. Severus Snape was anything but rational. “Severus, look—”

“Stop patronizing me, Lupin,” the smaller Slytherin spat, his greasy hair falling into his face. “I know you’re just trying to threaten me to keep me from telling everyone your … your condition!”

My eyes widened in fear and alarm. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

“Severus,” I whispered, the pleading evident in my voice. Surely Dumbledore wouldn’t let him. “Severus, please…don’t—”

“Don’t what? Don’t tell all of your precious friends that their little bookworm is a fraud? Don’t tell them that their wonderful Remus Lupin is a werewolf?”

He whispered the last part but I couldn’t help but look around. I don’t know why I was being so paranoid as I had dragged Snape into and empty classroom and had then proceeded to lock the door and ward the room from being overheard.

“You have no need to worry, Lupin,” he sneered finally, that annoying smirk growing on his pale face. “Dumbledore already told me that I wasn’t to breathe a word of my findings to anyone. I don’t even know why I went to the old man. Of course he would cover up anything for Potter and his friends—”

Before he realized it, I pinned him to the wall, his arms over his head as my grip tightened on his wrists. I couldn’t help it. Did he not realize how scared I had been? I would have become his house elf had I believed it would make a difference in his telling everyone my secret.

“Damn it, Snivillus,” I snarled, adopting Sirius’s nickname for the greasy-hair git. My knee settled between his legs. There was no way he was going anywhere any time soon. I saw a spark of fear in his dark, emotionless eyes and smirked.

“F-fine,” he muttered and I loosed my grip on his wrists, but only slightly. He wasn’t going anywhere until he realized how scared I’d been. “I won’t tell anyone your precious little secret. Now, let me go.”

I snickered. Did he seriously think I was going to let that be the end of it. No, no. He was going to pay for everything. But how? That was the question I now faced.

Watching him, I made my face completely blank. Unreadable. A new sensation filled me as I watched the fear in his eyes grow. Before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing him. Kissing Severus Snape, and liking it.

A moan sounded and it took me a minute to realize it had come from my captive. Pulling away, I couldn’t help but smirk down at him.

“Enjoy that, did you,” I asked hoarsely, raising my knee into his groin. I almost couldn’t believe it. He was getting off on this little wolf and mouse game. And so was I.

Perhaps, I decided, this would prove an interesting change of events.

Lowering my mouth to his ear, I whispered into it.

“I want to fuck you, Severus. I want to fuck you hard into this wall. Would you like that?” I ran my tongue along the shell of his ear, causing him to shiver.

“Piss off, Lupin!” he spat, but I caught the want in his voice. “How dare you suggest—ah!”

I chuckled as he gasped, one of my hands massaging his erection through his pants. I put on a mock look of concern.

“I’m sorry, Severus. I’m afraid I missed that last part. What were you saying?”

“Lu-lupin! Ah, s-s-s- oh… stop…”

I stopped, releasing his other hand as I dropped to my knees, my hands diligently working at the belt and zipper of his pants. Once his pants and boxers were down around his ankles, I spun him around so that he now faced the wall. I heard the slap that was his hands against the wall. Using this momentary lapse of concentration, I spread his arse cheeks and ran my tongue over his entrance, rewarded by an intoxicating sound that went straight to my groin. I continued to lap at his hole, thoroughly enjoying the sounds that I was causing.

Pulling away, I slid my finger into him. He cried out before forcing himself to calm, relaxing around my finger. I began to move it inside him and before long a second finger joined the first. Scissoring them, I ignored the sharp gasps of pain coming from him. A little pain would be good for him. Not long after, I began to search for the one spot I knew would cause more of those addicting sounds to come from him. Sure enough, the moment my fingers brushed his prostate, he moaned so deliciously that I couldn’t help but growl in response.

My cock was now so hard that I knew I needed to be buried inside of him or I would be a goner. Pulling my fingers from him (his sigh of loss causing me to smile), I rose to my feet. My belt and pants were undone in record time, and I pulled my pants and boxers down to my knees.

Stroking myself, I pressed against him, gripping his hip with my other hand. Pushing into him, I moaned loudly as his tightness consumed me. So tight… so very, very tight. It took several minutes until I was completely inside him. Pausing a moment, I pressed my lips to his shoulder, listening to his raging breathing. Slowly, it calmed and then Snape nodded. I gripped his hips and moved against him before pulling out and thrusting into him once more, Snape moving with me.

The only way I can explain it is that it was like poetry. If I gained speed, he would match it. If I moaned, he whimpered in response. When he moaned, I growled in reply. And then spoke, and oh that voice.

“Remus!” he breathed. “I’m… going to come.”

I growled, pressing my mouth to his shoulder as my grip on his hips tightened and my pace quickened. Seconds later his breathing hitched as his orgasm neared. Then something happened I hadn’t expected.

He moaned my name as he came into his hand and onto the wall, pressing back against me as he panted hard. I pounded in and out of him as my own climax neared. Just as I felt the wave wash over me, my eyes closed and I slowed as I came hard inside him, growling his name. “Severus!”

I stilled and we stood unmoving in silence until he spoke.

“Lupin, I would like to eat sometime tonight.”

I merely laughed, all the anger I felt towards the Slytherin just a distant memory. Pulling out of him, I grinned as he gasped. I was quite pleased that I was the reason he would be sore for quite some time.

We dressed in silence, but it was an amiable one. An understanding had past between us and I knew that, while he could sense it, he would never admit it.

Raising my wand, I took of the spells I’d placed on the room and door. Snape started for the door but I gripped his wrist and pulled him against me, pressing my mouth to his in a searing kiss that said all to clearly that this was definitely not the final encounter we would share. His returned the kiss, making it quite obvious that he agreed. As the kiss ended, I caught a smile on his lips, and brief though it was, it caused something to stir within me. I hadn’t realized it then, but it had been that exact moment that I fell in love with Severus Snape.

“I’m growing old here, Remus,” Snape said. With a laugh, a released him again.

“You know,” I said. “Shagging sure works up an appetite.”

He merely rolled his eyes and together we left the classroom and made our way down to the Great Hall. We then separated, Snape making his way to his house table as I joined mine.

No one had noticed us entering the Great Hall together, no one noticed that we became civil to one another, and no one ever knew that we continued to meet in the empty classroom.

And no one knew that I had fallen in love with the very man that my best friends detested, and no one knew that I continued to love that man until the moment I died on that fateful day. Not even Severus Snape.